"Bipolar" Beginnings...Part 2

This blog is VERY overdue, but one of my talking points in this post still works. That point is that a lot can happen in a few days.

When I posted my last entry, I had a tentative departure date, I was waiting to hear back about the status of my visa, I had no travel itinerary, and I had several items I needed to buy before I went to Spain.

Now, it's all done.

One day later, I found out my visa was ready and that my departure date was fixed as the 11th of September. The next day, we went to Chicago, picked up my visa and went shopping, finding everything on my list. The day after that we received my itinerary from the travel agent. Each day brought me one step closer to leaving for Spain.

Although I have an interesting story about our visit to the consulate in Chicago. Ever since I found out I would be required to pick up my visa in person at the consulate, I had a mental image of what the place would be like. Circle drive, walled in with some military personnel manning the gate, etc. Like something out of a movie. When I found out the consulate was in downtown Chicago, I was still expecting something out of a movie. Lettering on the front of the building reading "Spanish Consulate," Spanish flag hanging out front, military personnel and metal detectors inside the doors and all that.
Instead, we read through a directory of what seemed like 500 offices within the single building to discover the Spanish consulate was on the 15th floor. Arriving on the 15th floor, we discovered that the consulate was no more than a room, with chairs around the wall, a Spanish flag in the corner and three bank-teller-like windows. "Spanish citizens," "Others," and "Visas." And all I had to do to pick up my visa was show them my ID. No paperwork to fill out, no questions to answer, just show them my driver's license, and have the one woman working behind all three windows go through the little plastic file case of passports and visas to find mine and hand it to me. All in all, the process took about 5 minutes. Nothing like what I expected, which more and more I am preparing myself for that happen on a fairly regular basis in the next year.

Even more now, with everything falling into place getting me closer to going, I find myself struggling with conflicting emotions. I'm getting more excited about finally going to Spain and living there and all of the exciting adventures I know I'm going to have. Then I become anxious and worried and scared about being away from my family and friends and everyone I care about for basically a year and how I'm going to deal in Spain and living in a language that I don't speak. I find myself wanting to go, yet at the same time I find myself wanting to stay. I want to just get to Spain. But at some lever, I want to find some way to back out (even though that point was two interviews, many dollars worth of fees and insurance payments, and friends ago). These bipolar emotions aren't helping my pre-exchange nerves any. I know the negative emotions are just me worrying and getting cold feet, like anybody else before a major event in their life, but I still can't just repress them. I guess, for me at least, these emotions are just another aspect of the exchange. I'm just dealing with them as they come and trying to get everything ready to go.

"And that's all I have to say about that." That being my reeling, bipolar mental state that leads me into my exchange. There'll be more later.
-Erik

Currently listening to:
Song: Wave Goodbye
Artist: Steadman
Album: Revive